Long Distance, Low Stress: Tips for Planning a UK Ceremony from Overseas

Are you looking to plan a ceremony in the UK from abroad, then read on!

In this blog, I’ll explore some top tips that will make planning your humanist ceremony (a naming ceremony, wedding or memorial ceremony) from outside the UK a little easier – from using trusted friends and pros to working with, and not against, those pesky time zones.

As a humanist celebrant based in London, I’ve been lucky enough to work with brilliant clients from all over the world to create their bespoke ceremony and help make the process as stress-free as possible – from a naming ceremony in Surrey to a family based in the Middle East to a London wedding for a couple from Hong Kong.

Here are some of my top tips below, and I’d love to hear your views too!

1.        Find a Friend

It’s definitely worth asking a friend or family member you trust to be your eyes and ears on the ground, who can help with the more practical elements of your day that might be too hard for you to do from a distance. Have you had your eye on your dream venue online? Ask someone to video call you to give you a virtual tour on FaceTime.

And of course, do make sure you include them in your thank-yous on the day to recognise their efforts!

2.        Your Dream Team: Building the Right Supplier Crew

Having the right team of suppliers is crucial for any event, but even more so when you’re organising your ceremony from another country. For weddings, a planner with international experience will be worth their weight in gold and will help you bring all the jigsaw pieces together for you, and for funerals, making sure you have the right funeral director on side will be enormously helpful. Take a look at their reviews and testimonials to see examples of their work with international clients.

And of course, I’d strongly recommend working with a celebrant with experience of working with clients based outside of the UK. If you’re looking for a celebrant who can speak a specific language, you can find this on the Humanists UK Celebrant finder (shameless plug, I speak Welsh and French!) There’s more information on planning a bilingual ceremony in a previous blog post here.

If you’re in the country for a few days or weeks before the ceremony, do take the time to look around your venue, and your suppliers will always be happy to meet with you in person before the day, which might help calm any last-minute nerves.

3.        Beat the Clock: Make Tech Work for You

Whoever you choose to help plan your day, make sure you can connect with them as often as you want to. For the suppliers you’ll speak to most, it might be helpful to carve out the same time every week that works in both time zones – a tool like World Time Buddy can help you find the best possible time for you both.

Of course these days, it’s easy to keep in touch with video conference call services like Zoom and to keep track of progress through collaborative tools like Google Drive, Trello or even a Whatsapp Group to keep track of documents and keep up to date with logistics.

4.        Celebrating Your Global Story

When it comes to your ceremony, why not add elements from your new home into the ceremony – from using some words and phrases from the language to discovering any ceremony traditions that are less common in the UK. This is a great way of giving an insight into your life outside the country with your guests.

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So, to sum up, if you’re thinking of planning a ceremony in the UK from abroad, it doesn’t need to be stressful - especially if you have the right team and tech on your side.

If you’re looking for a celebrant with international experience for a naming ceremony, wedding, funeral or memorial ceremony – please get in touch, I’d love to hear from you.

Mair Garland is a humanist celebrant based in south-east London, leading ceremonies across London, the South-East, Wales, France and beyond.   

Practical tips for organising your baby's humanist naming ceremony

Our son Waldo's naming ceremony - ready to cut the cake!

As well as being a humanist celebrant, I also became a mum earlier this year. Having led quite a few humanist naming ceremonies myself by now, I knew that I just had to have one for my son Waldo, with the help of a fellow humanist celebrant.

I’d not organised any sort of big gathering since mine and my husband’s wedding, and I’d forgotten quite how much there is to organising a family event! I’ve definitely found a new sense of empathy and appreciation for all my wonderful clients planning their ceremonies.

So having now been on the parent side of planning a humanist naming ceremony, here are some practical tips I thought I'd share with you below.

A joint reading by Mummy & Daddy!

Budget

In an ideal world, we’d all have an unlimited budget – but alas, it’s never the case! Give yourself a ballpark number to start with to help you find (and rule out!) suitable venues and prioritise any other extras you’d like.

In our case, we really wanted to prioritise our celebrant...and to have a cake!

Setting Your Date

Have a think about:

• Who are your VIP guests? (e.g. grandparents, guideparents) – is there a date that suits them all? But if they can’t all make it, you could livestream your ceremony on Zoom and share a copy of the keepsake script you'll get after the ceremony.

• What time of year would you like to have your ceremony? (Remember some suppliers, including your naming ceremony celebrant, might have more availability in the autumn/winter months and on Sundays)

• Do you want to celebrate another special occasion at the same time? (such as combining your baby’s naming ceremony with their first birthday party)

• Are there any dates to avoid? (e.g. are there any big sporting tournaments happening at the same time – unless you’d like to embrace them of course!)

Your Perfect Venue

You can hold a humanist baby naming ceremony anywhere you like – in the back garden at home, the local park or your favourite pub!

Draw up a draft guest list to give you an idea of how big a venue you’d need and take it from there. If you’re stuck, take a look at Happity (the one-stop site for baby classes) for local baby-friendly venues.

As well as the size of your venue, think about:

• How accessible is your venue? Do you or any of your guests have access needs? Is it accessible by public transport and/or is there parking? How baby-friendly is it (pram access, nappy changing facilities etc.)?

• What kind of catering would you like? (e.g. a buffet, a sit-down lunch, an afternoon tea or a pot luck picnic) – do you want the venue to take care of it for you, or would you like to bring your own? Does the venue cater to your guests’ dietary requirements/allergies?

• Do you want somewhere that’s already decorated or do you want to put your own stamp on it?

• Is there anywhere that’s really special to you where you could have the naming ceremony?

• For an outdoor naming ceremony, what's your Plan B if it rains? Is there anywhere you could retreat indoors, or could you hire a gazebo from your local Library of Things?

Here are just some of the wonderful venues where I've led a humanist naming ceremony in the past:

London - London Fields; Victoria Park; Greenwich Tavern; Greenwich Forum; Buenos Aires Cafe,Greenwich; The Chancery, Beckenham; The Honor Oak Pub; Alexandra Nurseries, Penge; Kartuli restaurant, East Dulwich; The Folly, London Bridge; Beckenham Place Park; The Crown Tavern, Lewisham.

Kent - Inn on the Lake, Gravesend

Surrey - The Talbot Inn, Ripley

Wiltshire - Alderbury Village Hall, Salisbury

...as well as some lovely at home and village hall ceremonies across London, Bromley, Croydon, Kent, Surrey, West Sussex, Essex, Hertfordshire and Wales!

We chose The Rosendale pub in West Dulwich, south-east London for Waldo’s naming ceremony – it’s a local favourite of ours,with a beautifully decorated function room. We had a buffet for a relaxed lunch and a delicious cake made by Hannah Bakes for pudding.

Our happy guests!

Choosing Your Celebrant

I’m absolutely biased, but you can be totally confident you’ll be in great hands with a humanist celebrant.

If you take a look at the Humanist Ceremonies website, you can browse through celebrants' profiles and narrow down your choice by location.

There's a humanist celebrant for everyone - we all have our different styles, ways of working and things that make us unique.  If you’re looking for a bilingual celebrant, the celebrant directory also includes what languages are spoken by celebrants (a shameless plug – I speak Welsh and French!)

Our celebrant was the lovely Deborah Hooper – I was lucky to know her well already and knew she was based near our venue. The fact she speaks French was also helpful as I knew she wouldn’t shy away from some of the Welsh words included in our ceremony!

We were in safe hands with our celebrant, Deborah Hooper

Other tips:

Invitations – if you’re looking for quick and easy digital invites, there are lots of free designs on Canva you can send out on your Whatsapp groups.

Personalised décor & activities – Etsy and Not on The High Street are great for any personalised items and they make for lovely keepsakes long after the ceremony.

We got some personalised bunting for Waldo’s ceremony that we now hang proudly in his bedroom, as well as a guest book full of beautiful messages that we'll read to him when he’s older.

Baby’s outfit – for an adorable outfit that doesn’t break the bank, check out your local children’s charity shop.

I found Waldo’s naming ceremony clothes at the Fara Kids Charity Shop in Clapham Junction and at the St Christopher’s Hospice Kids Charity Shop in Crystal Palace.

If you've already organised a naming ceremony, wedding or any other family celebration - what advice would you give?

Our wonderful suppliers:

Venue – The Rosendale, West Dulwich

Celebrant – Deborah Hooper, Humanist Ceremonies

Cake – Hannah Bakes London

Bunting – Not on the High Street

Guest book – Etsy

Waldo’s outfit – Fara Kids Clapham Junction; St Christopher's Kids Crystal Palace

[all paid for by us]

Professional photos by Barry Willis Photography, copyright Humanists UK

All other brands/stores mentioned are personal recommendations, not paid partnerships.  

Mair Garland is a humanist celebrant specialising in warm, authentic and meaningful non-religious baby naming ceremonies, weddings and funerals based in south-east London. To book an introductory chat, please email: mair.garland@humanistceremonies.org.uk

Top Tips for a Bilingual Ceremony

Hello, Hola and Hoi!

I'm Mair Garland, a humanist celebrant specialising in bilingual ceremonies in both Welsh and French for weddings, naming ceremonies and funerals. In this blog, I explore some top tips for inorporating a second language into your ceremony to celebrate your heritage and culture and how to be inclusive to all your guests, whatever language they speak.

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Having grown up speaking Welsh and English at home, and then studying French at uni (along with some rusty school-girl Spanish from my A Level days!), I just love working with couples and families who are looking to include more than one language in their wedding, naming ceremony or celebration of life.

Suitable for humanist weddings, baby naming ceremonies, memorials and funerals, here are some of my top tips for creating a personal and inclusive ceremony that celebrates your culture and heritage:

1. Readings & Music - the easiest way to incorporate a second language into your ceremony is by including readings and/or music in both languages. For a more inclusive experience for your guests, you could provide a written translation or summary for them to follow in an order of service (translations of famous songs and poems can be found easily with a quick online search).

2. Promises & Vows - whether you're a couple making vows to each other at your wedding, or a parent making a promise to your baby at their naming ceremony, you can definitely say these in the language of your choice. If you're learning a new language for your partner, it can be really romantic to say a few words in their mother tongue!

3. Avoid Repetition! - it's very tempting to repeat every part of the ceremony in both languages to make sure all your guests understand what's happening. But your ceremony could potentially double in length, and it can be a little frustrating for your guests who understand both languages. One simple way around this is a written order of service with a translation into the other language for each section. (For example, where one partner is saying their vows in French, an English translation can be included in the order of service for guests to follow along and vice versa).

4. Your Celebrant - on the Humanists UK Celebrant Finder, you can search for a celebrant who speaks your desired language (for example, I speak Welsh and French, with lots of other languages spoken by other celebrants!) But even if your chosen celebrant doesn't speak your language, they'll often try and learn a few key phrases to introduce the ceremony, and will make sure your ceremony is as inclusive as possible for all your guests.

5. Embrace It! - it can feel like quite a daunting decision to include your mother tongue as part of your ceremony. You might be thinking: 'What if our guests don't understand what's going on?' Whether or not your guests will have understood every word, they'll be sure to enjoy the beauty of your language and its meaning to you, and they'll remember your ceremony long after the big day.

   
   

I hope this gives you the confidence to embrace your languages and to include them in your ceremony! If you're looking for a bilingual humanist wedding, baby naming ceremony, memorial or funeral ceremony in French or Welsh - please get in touch. Merci and Diolch for reading.

Mair Garland is a humanist celebrant based in south-east London, leading ceremonies across London and beyond.

Bilingual French/English Welcome Sign at A&C's wedding at 11 Cavendish Square, London. Image by Alina Pullen Photography.