At the end of 2025, I was invited to speak with the lovely Sonia Kampshoff on her podcast, 'Working With Languages', where she interviews people about their experiences of using languages in their work. As a multilingual celebrant specialising in bilingual ceremonies in French and Welsh, I jumped at the chance and really enjoyed the interview. Here's a transcript of some our conversation, where I speak about my work as a celebrant and how I work with clients to co-create their ceremonies. I hope you enjoy the conversation as much as I did!
Introduction
Mair: I started my work as a humanist celebrant alongside my corporate work back in 2020. I lead non-religious weddings, funerals and baby naming ceremonies, which is such a lovely job. I started with weddings and naming ceremonies whilst in the corporate world. After having my son, I thought this was the best time to start something new and give a real go at the celebrant work and become fully freelance, which was always an ambition of mine.
I wasn't sure quite how that was going to take shape, but it felt really natural for me. Having led ceremonies part-time on weekends for a couple of years to then grow it into a full-time business, it's been really exciting - with lots of learnings!
Bilingual Ceremonies
But I'm sure as we'll talk about languages - it's been a key part in this next stage of my career, which is lovely.
Sonia: So you do weddings, funerals and baby naming ceremonies in Welsh and English as well as English and French?
Mair: Yes, exactly.
Sonia: Do you also do English-only ceremonies?
Mair: Yes, I do. I'd say for weddings especially that the majority of the ceremonies I've been doing in the last year or so have been bilingual. More so French and English, but I have had a ceremony in the last year which was in English and Welsh in London, which for me was really dreamy. And I have another couple of Welsh-English weddings coming up this year as well. So the demand is definitely there.
And I think for those couples, they're looking for somebody who can offer them that bilingual service and when they find me, they're really pleased. It's just really nice that I can offer those couples something that means so much to them and their relationship.
The Ceremony Mix
Sonia: Wonderful. Would you say you do more weddings or funerals or baby naming ceremonies? What does that mix look like?
Mair: It's a real mix. I started off with baby naming ceremonies, so I still have plenty of those. And with funerals, the turnaround is quite quick so that lead time therefore means there tends to be more funerals.
Whereas weddings, you might be starting to talk to someone a year to 18 months out, which is lovely, because you really end up building that relationship with them and getting to know them really well. By the time they're walking down the aisle, you're greeting them as old friends.
The ceremony types are all very different and I really enjoy them all for lots of different reasons.
Co-Creating Bespoke Ceremonies with Clients
Sonia: Do your clients normally as you to write the text as well that you will read, or do they write it themselves, or is it a creative endeavour that you do together?
Mair: Yes, I definitely would say it's a co-creation. So I'll lead on it and I'll write them a first draft of their script based on the conversations that I've had with them. So if it's a wedding, for example, I'll ask the couple everything about their relationship so far, from when they first met, how they got engaged, and what their values are as a couple, their hopes for the future, and I create a script from that.
So every script I end up writing is completely unique because all of these couples and families I work with are so different and unique, which is really special. And then as the day comes closer, we work in tandem together to make sure it's something they're completely happy with. And for a wedding, the couple quite often write their own vows as well and what they come up with is just so gorgeous.
Sonia: That's great. Do you have any anecdotes you can share?
Mair: Yes. From a languages perspective, it's really interesting how couples approach it because I have some couples who want to do the ceremony entirely bilingually and then I have some couples who want the second language peppered in.
I had a wedding a few months ago where the bride was French and the groom was English. They'd met as flatmates and so the first time they met, they signed their tenancy agreement together. So what we did, instead of signing a traditional certificate, we got their two old flatmates to witness them signing what we were calling a 'marriage agreement' instead. So it was really lovely and personal to them. And so we were able to have those personal elements as well as making it bilingual, which felt really authentic to them. And having friends and family members come up to me afterwards and say "that was SO them," which is the best compliment you can get as a celebrant.
Sonia: That's wonderful. Do you have people also referring you on to their friends and families? Do you have people contacting you directly?
Mair: Yes, what's nice with naming ceremonies especially is I quite often have families who have chosen to work with me as their celebrant for their first child ask me to come back and do the ceremony for their second child. So just this last weekend, I led the naming ceremony for the second child of a family I've worked with before. And it's just great to see how they've developed as a family - the first child will have grown so much from a baby to a toddler. And it's lovely to see how that family progressed and when we're creating the script for the second child to describe what that evolution and their journey as a family has been - it's just a real privilege.
Sometimes, even when I'm at a wedding and then afterwards I might get a relative come up to me and say 'That was great. I'd love for you to do my funeral as well.' - which you don't expect at a wedding, but you can see that people are thinking about the future . Those big milestones do make you think about the big events in your life and other weddings you'll have been to in the past and other big family moments and of course to the future and what that will look like. So again, it's a really big compliment. If someone sees me in action at a wedding and thinks 'you'd be great for my funeral,' I think that's awesome.
Sonia: Yes. That's also thinking ahead, I would say!
Opening Up Conversations About Funerals & Death
Mair: Yes, definitely. I think in the UK in particular, we're quite shy about talking about death. And I think since starting on funerals, it's been really interesting to get more into those conevrsations. There are organisations called Death Cafes, for example, where people meet up and talk about death. And it can be really practical things like how you go about writing a will, planning your funeral, to very philosophical questions about what happens after death and those kind of topics. So it's been really insightful from that perspective just to learn about that more and to get people talking and thinking about death.
I had a funeral just this last week where the person who died had written quite clear instructions to their family in terms of the songs they wanted, the poetry they wanted to be read. They'd even written a letter to be read out. And that for the family it just made it so much easier because they knew exactly what their loved one wanted. Funerals are hard enough without having to second guess whether your loved one would have liked what you're arranging for them. So I think trying to think about these things ahead of time makes things easier for the family as well. So it's something that I really encourage.
The Welsh Connection
Sonia: Do you do ceremonies in Wales directly?
Mair: I haven't yet, but it's definitely something I would love to do. I still have lots of family in Wales and go back regularly. So it's definitely something I'd like to do in future. But it does surprise me how many multilingual families are living locally where I live. When I started, I wasn't sure if there'd be a demand , especially for Welsh ceremonies in London. I think I'm the only celebrant who's based in London who offers Welsh language ceremonies. It's a really nice niche for me and for people to be able to find me and the fact that there are couples and families who are looking for a Welsh celebrant is really nice.
Sometimes the families themselves might not speak Welsh or be Welsh themselves, but I did a funeral recently for a lady and her mother was Welsh so her family said she'd have loved the fact that I'm Welsh. So even having that kind of connection can sometimes be really valuable, even if they don't speak the language themselves.
So it's just really interesting to notice what attracts people to you and to choose you for their ceremony, even if they don't want that particular service directly - it's still something that attracts them.
Celebrating Different Cultures in Ceremonies
Sonia: Yes. And do you find there are cultural differences as well between Welsh, English and French?
Mair: Yes, I would say so. And even within the English-speaking world. For example, the last wedding I led was for an American bride and a French groom and learning about some of the American traditions about the groom (for an opposite-sex wedding) having his own entrance down the aisle and then after the ceremony coming back up the aisle the couple will normally do what's known as 'the dip' in the middle of the aisle.
So it's been really interesting to learn not just about French and Welsh traditions, but also those from all parts of the globe. I think with humanist weddings it's important for couples to know they can inject their heritage and culture into their ceremony, which is something that makes it more meaningful for them. It's hopefully something that really adds value and is special and that they'll remember years after the event.
Second Weddings
Sonia: Yes. Do you also do second weddings?
Mair: Yes, indeed. And I notice that couples feel a bit more freedom if it's the second time or if they're a little older, if they have children, that they don't necessarily feel as much pressure to some of the traditions that their family might expect them to follow for a first wedding, which can make the second time around feel fun and very relaxed. And I think sometimes couples at that moment of their life can feel a little bit more confident to really do things their way, which is really lovely to see.
Proudly Working with LGBT Couples & Families
Sonia: Do you work with same sex couples too?
Mair: Yes, absolutely. That's one of my favourite parts of being a humanist celebrant, epsecially because the organisation I work with (Humanists UK) were very key in campaigning for equal marriage in the UK and were performing same-sex marriage ceremonies long before they became legal. So that's always been really important to me.
And especially now when it comes to naming ceremonies, I also work with same-sex parents. It's just really beautiful to see the different kinds of families that are coming through and are really proud of their family and want to mark that occasion that they've been able to create this family they've always wanted.
I've also worked with people who are solo parents, for example, who've decided that they want to raise their child on their own. And again, seeing the makeup of different types of families and celebrating that in the community is really important and powerful.
Raising the Profile of Humanist Ceremonies
Sonia: That sounds so fascinating to me. Until a few years ago, I never thought that such a profession existed coming from a Christian Catholic background. So it's something completely new to me that I learned only a few years ago, that actually you can have a humanist, non-religious ceremony to get married. And of course for your funeral or naming ceremony. That is totally fascinating and I find it wonderful that you do it in different languages and that you really fully embrace how families are and how individual and personal everything can be.
Mair: Thank you for saying that. It's such a lovely job. To be honest, in the UK it's still not something I'd say the majority of people know about. But every time I have someone go to a naming ceremony, for example, lots of people still don't know that there is this alternative to a christening if you're not religious and family members will come up to me after the ceremony and say: "I didn't know such a thing existed, but how lovely."So hopefully the more ceremonies that celebrants do, the more we can spread the word.
The Campaign for Legalising Humanist Weddings
In Scotland, for example, humanist weddings are legal and are now I think more popular than register office weddings. They're not yet legal in England and Wales, but there's lots of campaigning happening. The government have said they intend to make humanist wedding ceremonies legal, but we don't know yet how and when that will happen. But I think having that in place will again really raise awareness and demand for humanist weddings.
Sonia: So when you say that in England and Wales that humanist weddings are not legal, does it mean you need tom work with someone else to make it legal?
Mair: Yes, exactly. So usually couples will have a second ceremony at the register office and a lot of couples will opt for the really minimalist option at a register office, which is usually a half an hour slot during the week with two witnesses and you just say the legally binding words and that's it. They'll then combine that with a humanist ceremony, which they'll do within a couple of days or a couple of weeks afterwards, which they'll count as their 'real' ceremony or they might decide to have two wedding anniversaries - one for their legal ceremony and one for their humanist ceremony, which again is really nice and more of an opportunity to celebrate!
But of course for a lot of people, the thought of having to organise two ceremonies, even if you're having a fairly basic register office one means extra money, extra time and extra admin, which of course is really tricky for couples when they've already got so much else on their plate when organising a wedding. So hopefully as and when this happens, it's going to be something that's going to make that process so much easier for couples.
Sonia: Can you nowadays in England have the two ceremonies happen at the same time, a registry office and someone like you performing the humanist side?
Mair: Yes, you can. It really varies according to which local authority you're going to be working with to make that happen. There needs to be a very clear distinction between which is the legal section and which is the humanist or celebrant section. So sometimes (and there's no set order), but for example you might do the humanist ceremony first and then the couple might go off to a smaller room with a registrar to then do the legal section or vice versa. So it's definitely possible. I find people often tend to do both ceremonies on separate days, but there's no right or wrong way to do it. It really varies as different councils will have different ways of doing things, but celebrants are always open to whatever makes life easier for the couple. That's what matters.
Sonia: I'm guessing that by now you can advise a couple on which are more inclined to be open to it?
Mair: I guess so, but even within London where I work, there are so many boroughs and sometimes it can depend on your individual registrar as well. Whoever the couple have chosen, I'm always open to working closely with the local council to make sure that the event has happened smoothly and in a way that the couple really wants it to happen. My interest is in serving them.
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Thanks again to Sonia from the 'Working With Languages' podcast for the opportunity to speak about all things languages and ceremonies - from the practicalities of creating a bilingual ceremony to proudly working with LGBT families and couples to the campaign for legalised humanist wedding ceremonies. You can listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
Mair Garland is a humanist celebrant based in London, leading baby naming ceremonies, weddings, celebrations of life and funerals and specialising in bilingual ceremonies in French and Welsh. To find out more about Mair's services, please get in touch here.
