What is a humanist celebration of life ceremony?

In this blog, we’ll explore exactly what a humanist celebration of life ceremony is (which is also sometimes also known as a memorial service), how it’s different from a typical funeral service and how I work with families to make them into personal and meaningful events for the person we’re remembering.

Humanist Celebration of Life Ceremony for C at Thatchers Hotel, Leatherhead

What exactly is a humanist celebration of life ceremony? When does it normally happen?

A humanist celebration of life ceremony is an occasion to remember and celebrate a person who has died, which usually takes place after a separate cremation or burial service has happened. Often it happens very shortly after the cremation or burial, though some families might choose to hold it on the anniversary of the death of the person they’re remembering.

Why do families choose to hold a celebration of life ceremony instead of or as well as a traditional funeral service?

There are lots of reasons families might choose to hold a celebration of life ceremony as well as or instead of a traditional funeral service. These include:

·      A wider choice of venues to hold the ceremony (not just restricted to crematoria/burial grounds)

·      Not wanting to feel rushed by a crematorium slot

·      The person they’re remembering has died abroad and the family wants to hold a service in their home country

·      The person they’re remembering has donated their body to medical science

Where can a humanist celebration of life ceremony take place?

Absolutely anywhere you’d like. Families will often choose venues including:

·      Hotel function rooms

·      Pub function rooms

·      Wedding venues

·      Private homes and gardens

It’s worth considering what facilities are available in the venues you’re considering, including: projectors, speakers and microphones.

You also have more freedom to decorate the venue how you'd like it with flowers, photo boards or a memory table with your loved one's favourite things displayed on it.

Memory Table at J's Humanist Celebration of Life Ceremony with floral tributes & artwork from J's young nieces

What are the main differences between humanist celebration of life ceremonies and traditional funeral services?

Some of the main differences include:

·      The coffin is usually absent in a celebration of life ceremony

·      Families often work without a funeral director to organise a celebration of life ceremony (though many will specialise in this type of ceremony too)

·      Wider choice of venues

·      No time restrictions for the length of the ceremony

What’s the typical structure of a celebration of life ceremony?

To give you an idea of what a celebration of life ceremony can look like in practice. Here’s an example running order below:

·      Introductory music

·      Words of welcome

·      Your choice of readings

·      Tributes to the person we’re remembering

·      A period of reflection with music and photos

·      Opening the floor for guests to share memories, guided with prompts and questions

·      A meaningful action to say goodbye: raising a toast in their memory scattering or interring ashes, planting a tree, unveiling a memorial plaque

·      Closing music

You can also choose to give your guests a favour or memento to remember your loved one, such as wildflower seeds or a photo keyring.

Basket of disco ball keyring favours at T's humanist celebration of life ceremony

 

How can we work with you to organise our loved one’s celebration of life ceremony?

1.        Please contact me via phone or email, with as much information as you can share at this stage (including the date and venue for the ceremony).

2.        We’ll have a planning meeting either in person or via Zoom to talk about the person we’re remembering and to agree all the different elements of the ceremony.

3.        I’ll write a first draft of the ceremony script and share it with you at least one week before the date of the ceremony. We’ll keep going back and forth until you’re completely happy with the script.

4.        On the day of the ceremony, I’ll arrive at least 30 minutes before to ensure that you and anyone contributing to the ceremony are completely comfortable with the running order.

5.        I’ll of course be there to facilitate the ceremony itself on the day.

6.        I’ll share a digital keepsake copy of the script with you.

I can also advise on elements such as audiovisual equipment and creating video slideshows.

Village hall set up for a humanist celebration of life ceremony

So, I hope I’ve helped demystify what exactly a humanist celebration of life can look like and how it might be an appropriate way for you to remember and commemorate the life of your loved one.

If you’re looking to hold a celebration of life ceremony for your loved one in the future, please do get in touch.

Mair Garland is a humanist celebrant based in London, leading celebration of life ceremonies and funerals, as well as baby naming ceremonies and weddings in London and beyond. Mair specialises in bilingual ceremonies in Welsh and French. Click here to find out more.